Endlessly
by UndergroundValentine
Summary: Living in Los Angeles proved to be a greater challenge than newborn vampire Tommy Joe Ratliff was ready for. Warning! Vampire gore, sexual content, explicit language. Adommy. Sequel to The Sickness.
1. Prologue

Hello! And welcome to Endlessly, the sequel to The Sickness. I encourage you, if you haven't read/finished The Sickness prior to reading this, please go and do so, otherwise nothing will make any sort of sense. Other than that, enjoy! :)

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><p><strong>Sunday morning, 8:36 A.M.<strong>

_Pain. Burning. White-hot agony that sears the flesh and scorches the bone. Teeth clenched in a grimace and throat pouring out a howl. Shaking. Trembling. Thrashing. Violently shifting and clawing. Scratching and screaming, almost, as the pain burns deeper and deeper. Ragged breaths and desperate whispers for cold, cold, cold… please, cold… Make it cold, make it cold. It's hot, too hot… burning… hot…_

"…make it? Oh, God…"

_Another growl, a grimace, and a violent wave of burning agony spreads, another deafening scream of torture. Brutal. Guttural and deep from within the throat, the chest that's heaving and collapsing with breath. Sweat breaks out to cool the surface of overheated and pink flesh, once pale with such imminent death. It fails._

"…increasing… too fast.. change… might not make it…"

**Late Sunday morning, 11:59 A.M.**

_Burning. Agony that rolls over petrified and sticky-hot skin, making the tremors visible but brief. Mumbled moans and whimpers, but no further screams. Maybe the occasional whine and incantation of a prayer or a curse. _

_The membrane of eyelids are bruised almost black in their blue and purple hue. Any time they lift, the eyes are bloodshot, vessels popped and destroyed from strain. The pupils are blown black, enveloping the irises. The face is paling, lips are dry. _

"…heart rate is slowing.. Maybe…"

**Sunday afternoon, 2:25 P.M**

_Drifting… In and out of swirling, warm darkness. In between clouds of all sizes and dark colors, in and out of complete emptiness. Complete warmth and comfort. Far from the stars that seem forever distant and soft in their fading light. Out of reach, even if only barely so. Drifting amongst the seas of endless, fading stars, all clinging… Clinging to their glow. Dying._

…_Dying? Dying implies weakness, age, injury, sickness or failure… No, not dying. Clinging and holding on to what life is left within them. What warmth is left. What darkness. Clinging to those shreds of light. Light… like humanity._

"…changing… still under…"

_Humanity? _

"How much… wakes?"

_What humanity?_

"…uncertain…"

**Sunday evening, 5:18 P.M.**

_Still. Cold. Very, very cold. Aching and immobile. Stiff and rigid, joints locked and muscles frozen. Like waking from a long, wintery sleep. The moment where the eyes open and the neck turns for the first time, unyielding in its lock. Cold. Only there is still darkness. Once warm and filled with stars. Now just dark. Now just cold and empty. _

_It's like lying on a stone floor, held there by some unseen force. A weight on the chest and limbs, holding them down. Like lying in death, creeping in and swooping close. Such cold, unkind and unyielding death…_

**Sunday evening, 6:02 P.M.**

Fingers pressed to the pulse points of the throat and wrist, marred with healed scars of vicious teeth marks, Lynn waited in silence with Adam fidgeting at her side, watching with wide and nervous eyes. Her jaw was set in an unreadable expression, her eyes guarded, her mind blocked to the blue eyed male. Even if Adam tried to push through to see what she saw, hear and feel what she felt, it would have been useless. She was focused. He was anxious.

Chewing on his bottom lip, Adam shifted his gaze from Lynn's face down to that of Tommy's. The blond's eyes were closed to the world, his lips parted ever so slightly, pale and cold to the touch. No breath passed through his teeth, his chest did not rise and fall with breath. Tommy was silent and cold as the grave. And it was a wonder that Adam wasn't crying about it.

"The pulse is gone. He's dead." Lynn said gently, her eyes unfocused as she removed her hands from the blond's seemingly-sleeping figure to let them rest in her lap. Adam bit through the skin, feeling blood pooling into his mouth and trickling down his chin. He wiped it away quickly, licking his lip and healing the wound almost instantly. It wasn't even painful.

Tommy's frame had been laid out upon the floor, his arms at his sides, legs drawn straight out and relaxed. His head was tilted back some, his face angled to the ceiling. His shirt was stained with crusty red, a small hole in the center of his chest. His jeans were splattered with blood, well-worn and loved once before the mess of this day. Adam felt a shake in his very being as he reached out, touching his lover's cheek. He was cold, even to Adam.

"How much longer?" Adam whispered, frowning at the desperate crack in his voice. They couldn't risk any more sun exposure and had stayed in the warehouse as the sun rose high into the air and then began its descent. It wasn't exactly the most comforting of places, but they had blood bags and they had darkness, and that was enough.

"Not much longer. The venom has stopped the function of the heart and internal organs. At this point it's a matter of waiting for the brain to become responsive again.." There was a tone to Lynn's voice that made Adam frown, and he turned his attention towards her.

"What if the brain doesn't respond?" He asked, and Lynn grew somber, her eyes locked on Tommy's pale face. Adam frowned a little further, licking his bottom lip before speaking. "The brain _will_ respond… right?"

"It should… It's supposed to," Lynn commented, her voice quiet. Adam let out a breath, but he knew there was something else. Lynn was tense and quiet, staring intently at the blond, as if waiting—hoping—that the venom was going to work.

"What do you mean it's supposed to, Lynn? Is there a chance that this whole process isn't going to work, and that Tommy suffered an agonizingly torturous death?" Adam hissed, his voice cold and demeaning. Despite the tone and the words, Lynn didn't seem to be phased by any of it.

"It's slim, but it's there. Tommy had lost so much blood and was so weak before you injected the venom into his system. His heart might not have been able to take the pain. That's why I was saying he might not make it. The rate was increasing too rapidly, too hard and stuttered to that of the change itself. It's…slight, but it's possible that his heart stopped and he died before the venom could finish spreading."

Adam tore his gaze away from his mentor, staring with fear at Tommy. The idea that Tommy might not make it frightened him. And with that fright was an immeasurable amount of guilt that was tied to one thought: if Tommy didn't make it, Adam would have killed him in the most painful and agonizing way possible. He would have taken Tommy's life away in a wave of burning agony followed by ice cold and stiff death.

Biting down on his lip again, Adam could feel the sting of venom in his eyes as tears welled. He reached out slowly, taking Tommy's right hand in his own, holding it close. It was cold and still to the touch, and Adam to fight the soft whimper that threatened to spill forth from his mouth. He held Tommy's hand like he was holding onto hope. Holding onto to something—anything—that he could believe in. He had to believe.

Beside him, Lynn sighed softly before standing and crossing the small space of the room to where Vix was huddled up in a corner, sleeping. Adam watched from the corner of his eye as the elder vampire grabbed her jacket that had been resting on the back of a chair and draped it over Vix's curled up and sleeping form. He allowed a small smile before returning his focus to Tommy's expressionless and pale face, letting out a heavy breath.

It hadn't been easy by any means to watch Tommy thrash and scream in pain. More often than not, Adam had been tempted to tell Lynn to just end it for him. Just take his life away and make the pain stop. But deep down, he kept repressing the urge. Deep down he knew that, if this plan were to succeed, it would be the right thing. He was giving Tommy a second chance at life. A chance to live in his prime for all eternity…

But, all the same, he was damning Tommy's soul with this decision. He was ripping it out and replacing it with a demon. A demon with a lust for blood that would never be fully quenched. Sure, he was gifting Tommy with immortality, but it came at a terrible price, and it was that price that made him want to end it for Tommy. End the suffering and let him sleep in peace.

Sighing heavily, Adam pressed a soft kiss to Tommy's knuckles, letting his eyes drift shut. The whole day had been exhausting between the lack of sleep and the beating he took from Joshua. Not to mention, he hadn't had a true and decent meal in several days, and while the blood bags sufficed, they weren't ideal.

"Come on, Tommy… please…" Adam whispered against Tommy's skin. He wasn't always one to be proud to beg, but in this case he had no other alternative. Tommy was still and quiet, ice cold to the touch. "Please, Tommy…"

_Please…_


	2. Red and Brown

**Sunday night, 10:06 PM**

His fingers were curled so tightly around Tommy's hand, squeezing for dear life, that he was sure that if Tommy were still a human he'd be crushing his bones into a fine dust. The blond's change had finished more than four hours ago and there was nothing. Nothing to discern whether or not they'd made it in time for Tommy to be reborn. Only the silent stillness of his condo—they'd left the warehouse after setting it on fire once the sun had gone down at seven.

Adam brought his other hand up, cupping Tommy's palm between both of his, pressing gentle kisses to the blond's fingertips. Tommy's skin was cold, so cold, compared to his that he had to wonder if he truly did die. The idea made his stomach clench and tears stung his eyes again. How many times had he cried tonight, waiting for Tommy's beautiful eyes to open?

A breath passed his lips and Adam dropped his head, clutching onto Tommy. The blond was laid out on the couch, his head resting on a pillow, his clothes changed into fresh jeans and a black shirt. For the longest time, Adam had left the front of Tommy's shirt pulled up to watch the bullet hole seal itself, but it never had. Instead, around quarter after nine, Adam leaned forward to seal it himself. It didn't close when he tried.

But he wouldn't give up. He couldn't. He owed it to Tommy to hang on until he was certain that the blond would never wake. Yet he couldn't deny the nagging fear that seemed to fester in the frozen depths of his heart, making him tremble violently now and then. Even with the lack of blood, the venom should have spread in time before Tommy's heart could stop all together. He'd bitten the major pulse points and he poured as much venom into the blond's body as he could. It had to work…

Staring down at Tommy's face, Adam's eyes were half open as he studied the fine details of Tommy's strong jaw line, his plump lips, his sharp tipped nose and perfect eyelashes. His hair was tossed pleasingly around his face, a faded and artificial color from death. Whimpering softly, Adam pressed another kiss to Tommy's hand.

"Adam," he heard a voice behind him and turned his head a little, seeing Lynn standing behind him. "I'm sorry… but he's not going to wake up." Lynn said as gently as she could. Adam shook his head, his shoulders trembling again. He couldn't believe it. He wouldn't believe it. Tommy had to wake. He had to. He couldn't lose his baby like this.

"Adam, you have to accept it… He's gone. You did the best you could, but he didn't make it." Lynn continued and Adam shook his head again, harder and faster. How could she even say that? How could she even think like that. There was still time and there was hope. There had to be hope. He couldn't… Tommy couldn't…

"Addy, please," Vix murmured gently, using her favored nickname for Adam. She was kneeling behind the arm of the couch where Tommy's head lay beneath. Her eyes dropped to the faded blond's face before lifting back to meet his gaze. "I want to hold on as much as you do, but Lynn is right…" Adam growled in despair.

"No…" he hissed, pain making his voice weak. "I won't believe it. I can't… He'll make it. It's just taking a little longer than normal. But he'll make it, I know he will!" Lynn sighed softly, kneeling down beside Adam. Her auburn hair hung in curls around her face and cascaded over her shoulders, curtaining her apologetic eyes. Adam forced himself to look away from her, staring intently at Tommy. He wouldn't give up.

"Adam…" Lynn whispered, reaching up to curl her hand around one of Adam's wrists. He felt weak and sick to his stomach and he let her pull his left hand away from Tommy's. "Let him go… You'll waste the rest of your life if you try to hold on. He wouldn't want that of you…" Adam choked on a sob as she took a hold of Tommy's hand, pulling it from Adam's grip and laid it to rest on top of his stomach.

Tears pooled before rolling down his cheeks like glassy rivers, the venom so thick it made them like an acidic syrup, burning into his skin. But he didn't push them away or even show his discomfort. From his peripheral he watched Vix rest her head upon the cushion of the arm, hiding her own sadness as Lynn sat in total silence, staring blankly at the blond. How could she say that it was better to let him go? How could she even say a thing?

"Adam, please don't think like that," she said gently without looking at him, and he felt anger swell in his throat.

"Why don't you stay the fuck out of my head for once?" He howled, launching to his feet and staring down at her. She stared up at him with wide, patient eyes, her hands folded neatly against her thighs. "Why do you have to invade in every thought and emotion of mine?" She sighed softly.

"I'm just trying to help you, Adam…"

"Help me by waking him up or leave! I refuse to believe that he's gone and that I'll never be with him again! I refuse to let him go!" Adam roared and Lynn climbed to her feet, coming just to his nose, staring hard up at him. Adam's hands shook with rage and grief and Lynn stepped back a little.

"Adam, you can't bring him back. He's gone, okay? I'm sorry, but it's the truth. He's dead…" Lynn couldn't get another word out before Adam backhanded her across the face. Her head snapped to the left, but she remained stationary in body, her eyes drawn shut.

"I don't believe you!" He shouted, shaking. "You… You told me that I could save him. That this was the only way to ensure that he survives! How can you say he's dead when you made me believe that I was doing something to help him? How can you be so calm when _you_ made me _kill him_?"

He'd never felt such pain before. There had been times in Adam's young life, both in humanity and immortality, where he'd felt grief and regret and loss. But nothing before could compare to this. It felt as if his heart, his stilled heart, had reanimated itself before being torn apart at the closely knit seams. It felt like fire and ice and poison and complete death was ravaging his desire for anything in the existing world.

Trembling, Adam fell to his knees with tears falling like rain drops and sobs pouring from his throat like thunder. He wanted to tear himself to shreds for this. He didn't want to believe it in the slightest, but all the same there was no denying the fact that he killed Tommy. He killed his lover with fire and ice and such agonizing pain. He sent Tommy to Hell in flames…

Adam's arms wound themselves around his stomach, his fingers digging into his sides as he wept. He felt an embrace curl around his body for a moment but he shook it away. He didn't want comfort. Not from Lynn or from Vix. He wanted to be alone and he wanted Tommy to wake up. His body shook like he was suffering a mild seizure and he began to push his finger nails between his ribs, trying to prove to himself that this wasn't a dream, that this was real and he was in pain and Tommy was dead.

_Oh, God,_ he thought to himself. _Tommy… Tommy, please, I'm so sorry, baby._ Adam was vaguely aware of cool, strong hands pulling his fingers from his bleeding sides. He couldn't even find it within himself to care anymore. If Tommy was dead then so was he. If Tommy was dead, he didn't want to exist. If Tommy was dead, he wanted to be, too.

"Oh, God," Adam sobbed as someone wrapped a blanket around him and held him close. He wept into his hands as the figure rocked him soothingly back and forth, running slender fingers through his hair. He leaned into them, his tears soaking into their shoulder as he cried. Images of Tommy's body, thrashing like a fish out of water, filtered through his grief. Tommy bleeding it out in front of him, Tommy dying and screaming and changing right before his eyes…

"I'm sorry," he choked, trembling. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

Arms and a body helped him to his feet, taking him away from the living room. Adam didn't bother to fight it in the slightest. He didn't have the strength and could barely keep himself upright without the assistance. There was a creak of a door and then he was laid into bed, the blankets pulled up and tucked tight around his twitching figure. Adam clung to the sheets as tears pushed back his closed eyes.

"H-help him, please.. I'm sorry.. I'm sorry, please…" He mumbled incoherently as darkness threatened to pull him under. The only thing he could think of was Tommy, vibrant in life and flush with color in his cheeks, his bright brown eyes glistening in light. He ducked his head into the blankets, crying softly.

He couldn't believe this. He couldn't believe any of this. Tommy couldn't be dead, yet the blond should have woken by now. He should have been up and moving and feeding to gain back the strength he'd lost. He should have be alive and he wasn't and Adam just wanted to throw himself into an open field with the sun shining all around and no hope of escape. Had he known that Tommy was going to die, he would have stayed here in that warehouse. He would have pushed Tommy off of him and he would have burned…

He should have burned. If not… if not, he should have just stayed with Joshua. Joshua gave him hope of a life without constant worry, because Joshua was just like him in most every respect. Tommy was a human… a human with a beating heart and blond and fragile bones and dulled senses. Joshua wasn't… Joshua could have saved him from this heartache.

But… That was just it. Joshua wasn't human. Joshua didn't have a heart or blood or bones or a blush and bright, loving eyes. Joshua wasn't Tommy…

~.~.~

Lynn sat and stared at the blond, her hands folded together and tucked underneath her chin. Her face still stung from where Adam had slapped her but she knew she couldn't blame him in the slightest. While she never truly understood it, Adam had loved Tommy so passionately.. He loved that blond human more than anything else in life and death, she was sure. And now Tommy was gone, and Adam was only in pain.

Sighing softly, she tore her gaze from Tommy. He looked as if he was merely sleeping. Taking a short nap in the middle of the night. Tommy had always been rather pale to begin with, he looked rather normal right now. With the exception of the dark circles under his eyes, the faded color of his lips and hair and the lack of breath to make his chest rise and fall, Tommy looked completely and utterly normal.

Running fingers through her hair, Lynn shifted her gaze to Vix. The young vampire was watching Tommy with a blank gaze, gently playing with the strands of his hair. She sighed again, looking down at her hands as she thought about how she'd taken Adam to his room, and how he'd mumbled miserably about how sorry he was. Biting her lip, she rubbed her eyes to wipe away the tears before they could swell entirely.

She didn't want to feel like this. She didn't want to feel like a failure, but Adam's words haunted her. Her head was spinning with Adam's screams, saying how she made him kill Tommy. She refused to think of it like that because, at the time, it was meant to help Tommy. But she hadn't taken into account how much blood he'd already lost and how little time he really had. She didn't listen to the weakness of his heartbeat. She should have, but she didn't.

She hid her face in her hands for a long time, listening to the silence before she heard a zip of a bag open and the crinkle of thick plastic. Lifting her head, she looked over at Vix, watching as the young vampire retrieved a small blood bag from the black duffle that sat beside the couch. The young one must have been hungry, so she turned her head away again as Vix tore into it a little with her teeth.

She waited for the soft sound of sucking, but it didn't come. Frowning a little, she turned her focus upward, and found Vix gingerly pouring the blood from the bag into the blond's parted lips. Frowning deeper, she sat up a little straighter. "Vix?" She inquired, and the young girl took a moment to respond.

"You know how all new vampires are thirsty when they're first changed?" Vix mused, gently squeezing more blood into Tommy's mouth. She was being careful not to let any spill passed his lips. Lynn hummed in response, watching the blood trickle into Tommy's mouth before looking for any changing signs in the blond's body.

"Maybe he's just too thirsty to wake up. Most changes happen when the human has a good amount of blood in them, right? Since Tommy lost so much, maybe the venom inside of him was just eating at the rest of him to try to feed him enough to wake up?" Lynn blinked once, staring intently.

"You might be right…" She said, going to the bag to retrieve more blood bags. Taking them, she hurried into the kitchen before retrieving a squeezable water bottle. Ripping open the bags, she filled it up and took it back to Vix, handing it to the girl. Vix set the empty bag aside and took the bottle, easing it against Tommy's lips before squeezing. Blood gushed into his mouth, and Lynn waited… and waited… and waited… and—

Faint as it was, she heard Tommy swallow.

"Give him more, slowly," she instructed, watching as Vix eased Tommy's lips shut around the bottle's tip, squeezing more. Tommy's throat shifted, and his Adam's apple bobbed with another swallow. The shadows under his eyes faded as the color returned to his hair. "More, more."

Vix kept squeezing the blood into Tommy's mouth, having to refill the bottle as quickly as possible before pressing it back to Tommy's lips again, giving more. It took a few moments but Lynn watched with a hopeful smile as Tommy's hand shakily lifted, reaching up to curl around the bottle. Vix let it go, grinning as Tommy fed himself, moaning softly before draining the bottle. He let it go to tumble to the floor as he sighed, his lips and teeth stained red.

"Tommy?" Lynn murmured gently, brushing his hair from his face. The blond sighed softly, tilting his head into her touch before his eyes fluttered and opened slowly, his irises a swirling mix of red and brown.


	3. Heaven

**Sunday night, 11:49 PM**

"Fuck, I'm thirsty…" I growled, sitting up slowly. I couldn't even hope to begin to describe the overwhelming ache in my stomach. I could only associate it with something like hunger, but I knew this was different. This was borderline ridiculous. Like knots twisting and turning in, burning with an acidic, raging desire to be satisfied. And there was a part of me that thought back to a previous moment where Adam had mentioned a vampire's thirst to me, how it would never be quenched, no matter how much you fed…

At the recognition of the memory I stopped and took a moment to look down at myself. My clothes had been changed and my skin was pale, but I didn't feel any different. I didn't feel like a changed individual. But then again I didn't have much to go on considering I'd just woken up and hadn't moved at all with the exception of sitting up and drinking.

"_Fuck_, I'm thirsty!" I repeated as the pang of thirst and hunger and _desire_ hit me again. I looked up in time to see a woman, a woman I didn't know, press a bottle to my hands. The top of it was stained in blood and what looked like saliva and I shoved it to my mouth, sucking on it greedily. Blood washed over my tongue and down my throat as I drank, moaning involuntarily at its taste. There were a thousand senses that were flying through my body, shocking ever nerve ending. I'd never tasted anything so wonderful in my life.

I drained the bottle and groaned in displeasure. I wanted more… I wanted more of this delicacy, and I only felt utter gratitude as a large plastic bag was tossed into my hands. I brought the corner to my mouth, tearing into it with my teeth before sucking deeply on it. The blood this time was a little warmer than it had been in the bottle, and I moaned loudly at its flavor. Succulent and more than satisfying in taste. I couldn't quite describe its general flavor, but it was fresher than what had been in the bottle.

Dropping the emptied bag, I sighed softly and slumped back against the cushions, licking my lips a little. I felt healthier, stronger than before. Everything I could see seemed to clear a little. Details became sharper. Colors became defined. I could smell and hear everything that was happening around me and it was so… Incredible. Part of me knew that I should have been overwhelmed, but I wasn't. Not in the slightest. I felt.. wonderful.

"What happened?" I groaned after a moment, feeling my belly ache from the sudden rush of food. Could blood be called that? Food? The taller of the two women, the one who'd handed me the bottle in the first place, sat down on the couch beside me, her hair pulled away from her face.

"Shall I give you the full story in brief detail or only what has happened in the last hour and a half?" She offered and I sighed.

"The full thing…" I requested, and she nodded once. Inhaling, she began:

"My friend, Vix, and I came to the warehouse after tracking down Adam's scent. When we found you, the both of you were barely hanging onto life. Adam was nearly burnt to death and you were lying over him, bleeding out and trying to protect him from the sun. Your blood must have healed him some because he was able to talk, and generally when vampires are at that state of exposure, there is only screaming.

"We pulled you into a dark room and we fed Adam some blood we had packed away. As he healed and regained his strength, we realized that you were slipping fast. The blood you had lost was taking a toll on your heart. Left with no other choice, Adam changed you, and we waited for several hours, watching you thrash and howl in agony before you went still.

"About four, four and a half hours passed and there was nothing. You hadn't moved, your wounds hadn't healed, and there were no signs of you waking up at any point. Adam, about an hour ago, had a bit of a breakdown. Vix and I thought you didn't make it and Adam refused to believe that for an instant. Eventually… he went into a state of what seemed like shock and hysteria, and I put him to bed to rest…" her voice trailed off and I felt frozen. She hadn't said it outright, but I knew what Adam was thinking before he went to sleep.

"He thinks I'm dead?" I inquired, and the woman nodded once.

"I'd wake him to let him know, but he needs the rest…"

"He thinks I'm _dead_, though… I'm pretty sure that if he had to choose between rest and knowing that I'm _alive_, he'd rather know the truth!" I said. I suddenly felt very angry and resentful towards this woman. I knew she was trying to see the good in things and let Adam have a moments time to sleep off everything that had happened, but if I were in his position… I'd want to know that my significant other was okay… That he made it.

"Tommy, please, calm down. Adam believes that you're okay…" I frowned, staring up at her.

"What, you read minds to?" She sighed.

"I'm Adam's mentor." Adam's mentor… hadn't Adam mentioned her before…? "My name's Lynn." I nodded once.

"Thanks for clearing that up for me. I don't mean to be rude, but Adam needs me, and now that I have the strength to move, I'm gonna take the opportunity.." I told her, swinging my feet off of the side of the couch. I tried to stand, but the sudden fluid and effortless motion left me swaying unsteadily, and Lynn took hold of my arm to help me regain my balance.

"You're not used to your new self. Try to take it easy, Tommy," she instructed like a mother hen and I nodded once to her. She let go of my arm and I walked slowly from the living room towards the hall, where the door to mine and Adam's bedroom was just on the other side. Quietly, I reached out and took hold of the knob, turning it slowly before pushing the door open gently.

Inside the room, I could see everything as clear as if it were daylight, and I could see Adam curled up on the bed. Even in his dreams, he was shaking and crying quietly, and I felt a phantom twist of guilt. Frowning, I clenched at my chest, noticing for the first time that there was no heartbeat beneath my palm. Well, that would take some serious getting used to, since I'd spent the last twenty-plus years of my life with one…

'_That life is gone, Tommy. This is your new one…_' I told myself before shutting the door. I stepped closer to the bed, my feet silent on the carpet. Adam jerked in his sleep, whining softly. A small breath escaped my lips and I felt like I was being torn apart. I'd never seen Adam so distraught, and even in his sleep, it was the worst thing I'd ever been witness to…

I sat down on the edge of the bed, running my fingers through Adam's hair. As I stared down upon him, I began to notice the things I hadn't seen with my humanity. The subtle flaws in his perfect face and the beauty that was just so overwhelming, originally, was now perfectly clear. I smiled and laughed in exasperation, soft and serene.

Licking my lips a little, I traced circles into Adam's skin, sweeping my fingertips along his forehead and across his cheeks, wiping away the tears. His shaking lessened and his crying ceased, as if even in his unconsciousness he knew that I was there comforting him. A small, sad smile pulled at my lips as Adam uncurled from his ball somewhat, shifting to lean closer to my touch. There was a gentle, nearly-silent groan that sounded from his lips before I watched his eyes flutter delicately, opening in the darkness.

After a few brief moments, his gaze shifted and met mine, piercing through me almost. I remained at his side, continuing to run my fingers through his hair. He blinked slowly, staring up at me for a long, long while before he seemed to shudder. "Tommy?"

"Hey, baby," I murmured right back to him, barely speaking at all, but I knew that he could hear me. I could have said nothing at all. I could have just smiled and said the words in my head and he would know. It wouldn't have mattered either way.

What used to be a motion made that I couldn't even watch with my own eyes was now a move that I followed, catching Adam into my arms. He'd shot up from his curled position to press himself as close as he could to me, and before my arms even finished folding around him he began to weep. I tightened my embrace, burying my face against his shoulder as he did to mine, feeling tears welling in the corners of my vision.

"Baby…" I said gently, leaving soft kisses against his jaw. Adam shuddered again, weeping harder. "Adam, it's okay. I'm here."

Muffled against my shoulder, I made out a few of his words, "They told me you were dead."

Clenching my jaw, I sighed softly. "I wasn't.. I just needed to be fed. I was thirsty." Adam trembled in my arms before pulling back to look up at me, his watery eyes searching between mine. He touched my face softly, caressing my skin and threading his fingers through my hair. I smiled a little, leaning into his palm a little.

"I thought I killed you," Adam whispered miserably. "I thought I.. Oh, God, Tommy, I thought I would never see you again. I was—" he began, but I cut him off with a gentle press of my fingers to his lips. He closed his eyes before looking back to me.

"You didn't, so don't think like that. I'm here, and I'm okay. And I'm not going anywhere," I told him with a wide smile before leaning forward to kiss him hard. Adam moaned, looping his arms around my waist, pulling me closer as we deepened the kiss equally. If I'd thought that our kisses were pleasurable before, when Adam was the only vampire, I couldn't have prepared myself for our kiss now. There was a connection that seemed to ignite itself like a forest fire within me and I couldn't suppress the moan that ripped from my throat.

Adam's fingers slid up along my spine and dove into the locks of my hair, pulling gently as he kissed me harder. I shoved my tongue into his mouth, shivering in pleasure as he sucked on it like I was a piece of candy. I shifted and curled my arms over his shoulders, linking them loosely around his neck. My legs straddled his hips as his right palm gripped my left hip gently.

Our kiss lasted forever. Being that I was no longer human, there was no necessity for breath. And because of this, we kissed and kissed to our hearts' content. And even when we were satisfied, we kissed more. I wasn't complaining and I knew that Adam wasn't either. He believed me to be dead, murdered by his attempt to change me. He wanted proof, continuous proof until he was absolutely sure, that I was really here with him.

Adam turned and rolled us over, pressing me down into the mattress of our bed, kissing my neck hard and passionately. I moaned softly, arching into him as his lips ravaged my skin. He felt warm to me. Maybe since we were both of the same species at this point that the general iciness no longer affected us, but I couldn't be sure. All that I knew was that he felt warm to me, something I thought I'd never get the chance to experience. And that made me happier than being in his arms. To feel him, to feel warmth? There was nothing better…

"Baby," he said with a tender smile, his eyes locked with mine in a knowing gaze. If I could have blushed, I'm sure my face would have been bright red. Adam kissed my cheek sweetly, nuzzling me. "Are you really so happy?"

"Yes… I… Adam, I dreamed about you being warm and comforting. I dreamed of being in your arms, cozy and secure. And now I have that…" Adam was smiling, but his eyes were pained.

"You have that because I took this…" he muttered darkly, pressing a palm over my chest. There was nothing. I bit my lip and placed my hand over his.

"I don't care," his eyes saddened even more, and I cupped his face in my hands. "Adam, I don't care. I know you wanted to spare my humanity, but I'd rather have a stilled heart than live without you. My humanity is still here. I'm still me."

"But you harbor the same monster that I do, now. You're just like me."

"And I wouldn't have it any other way. I'd rather harbor that monster than try to live a humane life with someone I don't love and see you with— with…" _Joshua_. I couldn't finish it. I couldn't force the name out but Adam's eyes widened softly, recognizing my true reasoning and he kissed me again.

"I would never. I would never and you know that. I pushed him away because you were there, fighting for me." He whispered and I smiled.

"And I'm so proud of you… After what he did to Alex, I was praying that you would be stronger, and you were.." Adam smiles softly, kissing me chastely.

"I was strong because of you."

"No," I said, and Adam frowned. "You were strong because of yourself. Your heart knew. Your heart knew better than your mind. Your mentality wanted to submit because it's so easy to ignore your heart, but you didn't. You listened to it. You listened to it and you let it control you. You let your heart win." Adam grinned like a star.

"I missed you." I laughed quietly, running my fingers through his hair.

"I wasn't gone for very long, you know."

"It felt like forever." I rolled my eyes, but my smile only widened.

"If a few hours was forever to you, then what is the rest of our life together?"

"Heaven."


End file.
